Parenting styles

Parents’ approaches to raising their children can significantly differ, with each style embedding distinct perspectives on their role and responsibility in relation to care, support, behaviour management and communication. The different styles of parenting can be divided into four main groups which are;

• Authoritarian
• Authoritative
• Permissive and,
• Uninvolved

Other systems can be presented within each of these groups, such as gentle, free-range, and helicopter parenting. However, this summary will not explore these.

Authoritarian

Parents who subscribe to this parenting style emphasise obedience to and control over their children in all aspects of their lives, including, but not limited to, educational achievement, attainment and pathways, social grouping, putting and relationships, and emotional expression and expectations. This obedience and control are often demonstrated through a one-way and parent-led communication model, which creates an environment in which the child is not provided with the opportunity for negotiation, compromise, or reasoning of rules and expectations placed upon the child.

One of the distinctive features of this parenting style is expectation management and enforcement. Parents within this style will expect their children to uphold and maintain their high expectations and standards without making errors or mistakes. When children make errors and mistakes, swift punishment is applied to them.

Another key feature of this parenting style is that, unlike other styles, it is often less nurturing and affectionate, which can lead to a more distant and detached attachment within the family unit. This distant and unaffectionate attachment often forms because the parent is seen as an authority figure rather than a caregiver.

Authoritative

Similar to the authoritarian parenting style, authoritative parents also set and upload high expectations and boundaries. However, compared to authoritarian parents, authoritative parents are characterised by their balanced approach to caregiving, combining high expectations with empathy and respect for their child’s individuality. This balance includes authoritative parents taking the time to explain clearly what they are and why they have set their rules and expectations. This open dialogue, in turn, allows children to ask questions and seek compromises around the rules and expectations and, in doing so, understand the boundaries placed upon them. A benefit of this bi-directional communication model between the child and the parent is that it supports and enables the development of a more nurturing relationship where children’s opinions are fostered and respected.

Within the parenting style, when children make errors or mistakes, discipline revolves around support rather than punishment. The intention is to assist the child in understanding and adhering to the rules and expectations, finding areas for compromise, and offering guidance where needed. The parents provide consistent and fair discipline, aiming to guide rather than control and encourage independence while offering support.

Permissive

One of the defining features of permissive parenting is that rules and expectations are still placed upon children. Still, these are often more lenient and indulgent than those of authoritative and authoritarian parents. The rules put into place and maintained are based on the parent’s moral perspective and that of safeguarding the child. In relation to the enforcement of rules, permissive parents will often avoid confrontation with their children and, as such, are less likely to enforce consistent boundaries or discipline when errors, mistakes or breaks to the rules and expectations occur. 

This limited focus on imposing and refocusing rules and expectations is partly based on the permissive parents’ desire to create an environment that enables the growth and freedom of their children, often prioritising their children’s happiness over compliance. As a result of this style of parenting, the relationship between child and parent that forms is often warm, supportive and nurturing and within this environment of support comes a communication module that goes beyond bi-directional and into open dialogue, allowing discussion of rules, expectations and boundaries. This more open form of communication also provides space where children are able to explore ideas, issues, and experiences they face. However, this more relaxed view of rules and communication can lead to the parent-child relationship being viewed and described as more of a friendship than one of guardianship.

Uninvolved parenting

This form of parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, can, to some degree, be seen as a development or the next stage of permissive parenting. In this style, parents often avoid becoming involved in their child’s educational, social, or emotional life, instead preferring to see their roles as one in which they are only required and needed to meet the child’s basic care needs, such as food, water, and shelter, and anything beyond that should be met, achieved, and satisfied.

This detachment from their children’s lives is also reflected in their view of the rules, expectations and boundaries that should or are required to be placed on their children. Parents with an uninvolved style do not place or use rules, expectations, or boundaries concerning any aspect of their child’s life. There is also limited communication with their children outside of meeting their basic care needs. This lack of communication and structure within the child’s life leads to the development of a neglectful environment where the child, even if wanted, is not offered or provided.