Behaviour that Challenges

Behaviour that challenges means actions shown by a child or young person that are hard for adults to manage, disruptive to others, or seen as socially unacceptable. These behaviours can affect the individual’s own well-being, as well as the safety and comfort of people around them. It is important to remember that this behaviour is not usually done to be “naughty” or “bad.” Instead, it is often a way of communicating feelings, needs, or frustrations when the child or young person cannot express themselves in other ways.

When exploring behaviour that challenges, it is important to understand the four main categories that these behaviours can fit into. There are aggressive behaviour, verbal behaviour, non-compliant behaviour and socially inappropriate behaviour.

Aggressive behaviour:

Aggressive behaviour is a type of behaviour that challenges, where a child or young person acts in a way that threatens the safety of others or risks causing harm to people, property, or even themselves. It can be physical, such as hitting, kicking, biting, scratching, pushing, or throwing objects, but it can also be non-physical, for example, glaring, posturing, or making threatening gestures. In early years and educational settings, aggression can be particularly concerning because it not only affects the individual child but also impacts the sense of safety and well-being of the whole group.

Aggressive behaviour does not usually occur without reason. Often, it is a response to an underlying feeling of frustration, fear, or distress. For example, a child who struggles to communicate their needs verbally may lash out physically if they feel ignored or misunderstood. Similarly, a child may show aggression when faced with sudden changes to their routine, when they feel overwhelmed by noise or crowds, or when they are experiencing strong emotions such as anger or anxiety.

It is important for practitioners to recognise that aggressive behaviour is usually a form of communication rather than simply “bad behaviour.” By looking beyond the actions and considering the possible causes, adults can respond more effectively. For example, supporting a child to use words, symbols, or gestures to express their feelings may reduce frustration and, in turn, lower the chance of aggression. Equally, creating calmer environments, preparing children for transitions, and teaching self-regulation skills can help prevent aggressive incidents from happening.

Verbal behaviour:

Verbal behaviour is a type of behaviour that challenges where a child or young person uses spoken words or sounds in ways that are disruptive, upsetting, or difficult for others to manage. It includes shouting, screaming, swearing, making threats, using unkind or offensive language, or repeatedly interrupting conversations. While it may not cause physical harm like aggression, verbal behaviour can have a strong emotional impact on others and can disrupt learning or social interaction in early years and educational settings.

Verbal outbursts can occur when a child is experiencing strong emotions such as frustration, anger, or excitement, and does not have the tools to express these feelings appropriately. For example, a child who finds it difficult to explain what they want may shout or scream if they feel ignored, while another may resort to swearing when overwhelmed by changes in routine. Verbal behaviour can also be a way of seeking attention, testing boundaries, or copying language they have heard in other settings without fully understanding its impact.

In younger children, verbal behaviour is sometimes part of normal development. Toddlers, for example, may scream or cry loudly when they cannot have a toy or when routines change, because they have not yet developed the ability to express themselves calmly. As children grow, most learn social rules about when and how to use their voices. However, if these skills are not fully developed or supported, verbal behaviour may continue to cause challenges in group settings.

Non-compliance behaviour:

Non-compliance behaviour is a type of behaviour that challenges where a child or young person refuses to follow instructions, rules, or routines set by adults. It can include ignoring requests, refusing to take part in activities, deliberately avoiding tasks, or repeatedly saying “no.” In early years settings, non-compliance can be frustrating for practitioners because it can interrupt the flow of planned activities and may be misinterpreted as disobedience or defiance.

However, non-compliance can sometimes have an underlying reason. It can be a way for a child to communicate that they are unable, unwilling, or unready to do what is being asked of them. For example, a child may refuse to join a group activity because the environment feels too noisy or overwhelming. Another child may refuse to tidy up because they find the task confusing or do not understand what is expected. In some cases, children may use non-compliance as a way of asserting independence, especially as they grow and test boundaries.

Non-compliance can appear in different forms. Sometimes it is passive, where the child quietly ignores instructions or delays doing what is asked. At other times, it can be more active and obvious, with the child openly refusing or showing frustration when asked to comply. While these behaviours may seem like the child is simply being “difficult,” they can be signals that the child is struggling with emotions, tiredness, changes in routine, or tasks that feel too challenging for their current stage of development.

It is important to remember that non-compliance is not always a negative behaviour. In some cases, it can even show that a child is beginning to develop independence, decision-making, or critical thinking skills. For example, saying “no” to something they do not want may reflect that the child is starting to understand personal choice. The challenge for practitioners is recognising when non-compliance is a healthy step in development and when it is a sign that the child needs extra support.

Socially inappropriate behaviour:

Socially inappropriate behaviour is a type of behaviour that challenges where a child or young person acts in ways that do not fit with expected social rules or norms in a particular setting. These behaviours are not always harmful or aggressive, but they can cause difficulties because they make others feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or distracted. In early years and education, socially inappropriate behaviour is important to recognise because it can affect how a child is included in group activities, how they form friendships, and how others respond to them.

Examples of socially inappropriate behaviour include interrupting conversations, talking loudly in quiet spaces, invading personal space, asking very personal questions, or removing clothing in public. In some cases, children may also use humour or comments that are unsuitable for their age, copy language they have overheard without understanding it, or seek physical contact with adults or peers in ways that are not appropriate. While these actions may not be intended to cause harm, they can still be challenging to manage in a classroom or childcare setting.

These behaviours often happen because children are still learning the social rules of different environments. For example, young children may not yet understand the idea of “waiting their turn” in a conversation and may interrupt without realising it is considered rude. Similarly, a child with limited social awareness may stand too close to others or hug strangers, not recognising that this invades personal space. In some cases, socially inappropriate behaviour may also be linked to communication difficulties, developmental delays, or additional needs such as autism, where understanding and applying social norms can be especially challenging. As such, practitioners need to view socially inappropriate behaviour as part of the child’s learning journey rather than deliberate “misbehaviour.” Children may not yet have the maturity or social understanding to behave in ways that are expected, and they may need extra support to develop these skills.

Understanding these behaviours

The way we talk about behaviour matters too. The term “behaviour that challenges” is now preferred over older words like “bad behaviour.” This is because the newer term avoids blaming the child and instead focuses on the fact that the behaviour is challenging for others to manage. It reminds us that the behaviour is often a form of communication, not simply misbehaviour. Using this language helps adults respond in a more supportive, understanding, and positive way.